Cardcaptor Sakura: Tomoyo Kamen?
by shanejayell
Summary: A very odd little silly fic! One-shot shoujo-ai...
1. Tomoyo Kamen!

Cardcaptor Sakura: Tomoyo Kamen?  
  
"All right," Sakura raised her star staff to a ready position, the girl dressed in a pink, ruffled costume looking up at the massive creature that was shuffling through the neighborhood, "Li, can you distract this thing?"  
  
Dressed in his traditional battle garb Li looked up at the creature and gulped a bit nervously before squeaking out, "I'll try."  
  
"Don't worry," Sakura reassured him with a smile, "we can handle this."  
  
"Lets hope," Li sighed softly.  
  
The thing shambled forward, and Li raised his sword defensively. Sakura ran to the side, the Windy Card held in her hand, "Now if he keeps it distracted..."  
  
Thwack! A rose was flung down into the ground dramatically.  
  
Quite strangely, in the background Sakura could hear what sounded like a Spanish guitar playing. She looked around her wildly for the source of the music for a few moments, then looked up to see a figure who was standing up on a nearby wall. The black tuxedo hugged a slim female form, and the white mask concealed part of the face.  
  
Holding a rose in her hand the masked figure said in a very familiar but dramatic voice, "Anyone who dares threaten my Sakura-chan will answer to... Tuxedo Kamen!"  
  
"Tomoyo?" Sakura blinked in surprise at her surprisingly cool looking friend, completely forgetting about Li just behind her.  
  
"Ah, Sakura?" Li slowly backed away from the creature, but it lunged at him and he gasped out, "A little help here?"  
  
Not noticing Li at all Sakura asked, "What are you doing here, Tomoyo?"  
  
Smiling with a remarkably charming style Tomoyo said, "I would do anything to be of help to my Sakura-chan!"  
  
Crouched behind the wall, hiding and playing Spanish guitars one of Tomoyo's many bodyguards asked the others, "Why are we doing this again?"  
  
"Atmosphere," one of the others added a bit of a flamboyant strum before continuing, "and because Tomoyo-sama needs us to do it!"  
  
"Good enough," the first bodyguard agreed, while yet another used a video camera to record Tomoyo and Sakura together.  
  
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh god, just kill me now," Li whimpered like a little girl as the creature pounded him into the floor.  
  
"You look really good in that costume," Sakura murmured as Tomoyo leapt down from the wall to stand right beside her.  
  
"Thank you," Tomoyo reached out to gently caress Sakura's cheek and added with a cool smile, "I wore it just for you."  
  
Large throbbing hearts appeared in Sakura's eyes as she threw her arms around her and gasped, "Oh, Tomoyo-chan! I love you the best!"  
  
"I love you too, Sakura!" Tomoyo hugged her back. As they hugged she noticed the increasingly faint noises Li was making in the background. "But what about Li-kun?"  
  
"Oh, right," Sakura suddenly remembered him. "Windy!" she raised the Card and continued, "Become the chain of punishment!"  
  
In moments the Windy had bound the creature, leaving a very relieved Li laying there in a heap on the floor. "Oh thank you," Li managed weakly.  
  
"Do you want to go to my house?" Tomoyo offered her tuxedo clad arm to Sakura quite gentlemanly, "We could watch some of my more.. interesting videos."  
  
"Really?" Sakura smiled, "What kind of videos?"  
  
Tomoyo looked thoughtful, "They'll be very... educational."  
  
The two of them moved off together, the guitar playing bodyguards soon falling in behind them. "What about me?" Li whimpered pitifully.  
  
"LI-kun!" he was suddenly glomped from behind, sending the young man crashing to the ground again. "I've missed you so much," she squealed.  
  
"Mei-Lin?" Li managed. With a soft groan the boy muttered, "Is everyone in this stupid story out of character?"  
  
"Nah," Mei-Lin bounded to her feet to help pull him up as the girl explained cheerfully, "I've just been hanging out with Wakaba lately."  
  
Li groaned as Mei-Lin dragged him off bodily...  
  
Author's Note: I'm not planning on continuing this, I just wanted to do a silly little one-shot on Sakura and friends. I'm not sure where the idea of having Tomoyo dress up at Tuxedo Kamen came from, but it was pretty fun to write.  
  
"It's the suit," Tomoyo popped up to say with a grin, "chicks dig the suit."  
  
"Oh, Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura threw her arms around her and dragged her to the ground. Happy noises and flying clothes are soon seen...  
  
^_^; Anyway, I'm hoping that you all enjoyed this. Positive reviews will be answered, and any negative reviews will be ignored. 


	2. Omake!

Cardcaptor Sakura: Tomoyo Kamen?

Omake

"This is intolerable!" Sonomi Daidouji protested, the black haired older woman wearing a sleek looking woman's business suit.

"Now what's wrong?" Kaho Mitsuki asked, the light brown haired educator sitting at the table with the other Cardcaptor extras, drinking tea and sharing some cookies around as they read through scripts and waited for possible parts.

"We never even got a cameo," Sonomi flopped down in a chair, "how can you have a Cardcaptor fic without us?!"

"Tell me about it," Toya Kinomoto grumbled under his breath, the young man sharing his snacks with his beloved Yukito Tsukishiro.

"Actually, there are plenty of episodes where we don't appear at all," Kaho had to point out to them reasonably.

"You're not helping," Sonomi grumbled, pouting cutely.

"Sorry," Kaho reached out to pat her hand gently.

Sonomi blinked, looking at Kaho in surprise a moment as she responded quietly, "It's fine, I suppose."

"They could have used a few of us in crowd scenes," Rika Sasaki sighed, the young browm haired girl sitting by her true love Mr Terada.

"Yeah, it's not fair," Chiharu Mihara and Nikki Yanagisawa both complained, the two schoolgirls sitting nearby.

"You're probably lucky you didn't get featured," Yukito pointed out to them mildly as he cuddled with Toya.

"And why is that?" Rika asked, frowning at the older boy curiously.

Yukito paused in his eating to point at them with his food fork, "Because you'd probably have to turn gay."

"Say WHAT?!" all the girls around the table sat up in surprise.

"He's got a point," Toya commented, "read a few of the scripts this guy wrote, you'll see almost every female character goes lesbian."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that," Yukiyo added wryly.

"In fact it can be pretty cool to watch," Takashi Yamazaki added impishly, the black haired boy sitting nearby.

"Yamazaki!" Chiharu Mihara yelped, the brown haired girl leaping up from her seat and slapping him across the head.

Meanwhile, at the end of the table a young man was drowning his sorrows. "You know," Eriol Hiiragizawa sighed, "it's really hard to drown your sorrows in tea."

"Buck up," Spinel Sun said, the little blue-black cat with wings relaxing on the table.

Ruby Moon tugged on Eriol's cheek teasingly as the purple haired androgyne with butterfly wings asked, "Why so glum, chum?"

Taking a long drink of his tea Eriol sighed, "Kaho has dumped me."

Ruby Moon looked startled, "Why would she...?!"

"There is the age difference," Eriol pointed out reluctantly. While the black haired boy was far smarter and mature than anyone his age should be, he was still physically a grade schooler, which put quite a crimp on his romantic life.

"We could try to find someone your own age?" Spinel Sun offered.

"Then I'll feel like a pervert," Eriol sighed.

"Why not try a online relationship?" Ruby Moon suggested archly, "You can be anyone you want that way."

"And how would you know that?" Spinel Sun asked suspiciously, but Ruby Moon just smirked in reply.

"Oh god..." Li Sayoran groaned as he staggered into the room, his Cardcaptor gear ragged from the slime monster's attacks.

"You all right?" Yukito helped him to their table while Toya glared.

Li slumped to a seat, "I've been better."

"That monster really put you through the wringer," Kaho noted.

"Oh, it's not that," LI shook his head.

"Eh?" Sonomi blinked.

"It's Mei-lin," LI whimpered as he rested his head on the table with a soft thump, "she's insatiable! A man has limits."

"Now that's just way too much information," a visibly green looking Toya said after a moment's thought.

"Li!" a cheerful female voice rang out, "I'm all rested up now! Where are you?"

"Hide me!" Li clutched at Yukito desperately as he whispered, "I swear I'll die if I go back in there!"

Toya looked at the cringing boy then loudly declared, "He's in here!"

"Nooo!" Li whimpered as Mei-lin arrived, grabbed his leg then the black haired Asian girl dragged him out.

"That was a bit mean, Toya," Yukito murmured as they heard Li's desperate cries for help trailing off in the distance.

"I didn't like how he was grabbing on to you," Toya whispered back, "the only one who gets to hold you is me."

"Oh Toya!" Yukito sighed.

"Oh Yukito," Toya rumbled sexily.

"Oh brother," Sonomi muttered as she rolled her eyes before deciding to just ignore their romantic moment.

"Don't be mean," Kaho said to Sonomi as her eyes danced with amusement, "I think they're kind of cute."

'So is she,' Sonomi found herself admitting, a little surprised such a thing hadn't occurred to her before. 'Then again,' she mused as she drank tea, 'it's not like we get a lot of screen time together...'

Reading over the script Nikki sighed as she pointed out, "Look at this! Even the bodyguards get good lines."

"Well, it's about time," a generic female bodyguard noted. "We have no names and are almost interchangable."

"And what's with the all woman bodyguards?" Chiharu wondered, giving Sonomi a thoughtful look.

Sonomi blushed slightly, "What can I say? I just prefer women around me."

Toya drank his tea, "Like we didn't suspect, considering no one's ever seen your supposed husband."

Kaho looked at Sonomi curiously, "Sperm donor?"

"I have a husband," Sonomi said firmly, "he's just... away a lot."

"Right," everyone replied skeptically.

"It's all right," Kaho said to her quietly a moment later, "I find imagining you with a man disturbing."

Sonomi looked at her curiously, "What do you like imagining me with?"

Kaho winked, "Me?"

End

Notes: Slightly weird commentary on fanfic + various ooc moments too. Hope this doesn't spoil the main fic for you, too.


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